When I started to write this blog seven months ago, I first wanted to write letters to the man for whom I was in love with. I did not know how to make him able to read my letters and so, I decided to make them public. After slightly over four months of writing love letters and poems to him I had the sudden awareness that, even if he read them, he would most likely never appreciate nor understand them. He is my doctor and a married man and as such he is untouchable to me. The chances of these changing are so minimal that I shouldn’t hope or wish for that.
In the meantime, many of you, my dear friends, started to read and comment on my blog and I found joy in writing this blog for you. However, some of my close Croatian friends cannot read English so I have decided to make one more change to my blog that starting from this post I will write in both languages, English and Croatian. When I write in English I think in English, the same as in Croatian so my posts will not be a direct translation from one language to another, but the subject will be the same. I am not sure how that will work for poems so, for now, they will remain only in English.
A month ago, I joined a dating site with the aim of meeting new people. I also have a hope that one day I will be able to feel something romantic for somebody else. I am aware that the chances that I like somebody who will like me back are in reality very low. If I establish at least one friendship with at least one man from this dating site, my effort will be worth it. Surprisingly, one man that I met on this site read my entire blog in one night. That was an amazing experience for me as a writer and I am very grateful to him for his patience and interest. We even met in person, but we then realised that we are two very different people who do not have much in common and that was it. I continue to search.
Kristina
Sunday, November 29th, 2020
Pisanje na engleskon I hrvatskom
Kad sam prije sedam mjeseci pocela pisati blog, sve sto sam zeljela bilo je pisati pisma muskarcu u kojeg sam bila zaljubljena vec neko vrijeme. Nisam imala pojma kako da ostvarim da on procita moja pisma I dobila sam ideju da ih ucinim javnima. Nakon cetri I pol mjeseca pisanje ljubavnih pisama I poezije odlucila sam prestati pisati ljubavne sadrzaje zbog iznenadnog saznanja da, cak I ako bi procitao, on vrlo vjerovatno nebi cijenio I razumio moju potrbu da mu pisem. Radi se o ozenjenom muskarcu koji je ujedno I moj doctor I kao takav on mi je uistinu nedodirljiv.
U medjuvremenu mnogi od Vas, mojih dragih prijatelja poceli ste pratiti I komentirati moje objave I ja sam osjetila da zelim nastaviti pisati za Vas I zbog Vas. Neki od mojih prijatelja ne citaju engleski jezik I zbog njih sam se odlucila na jos jednu promjenu, objavljivati I na hrvatskom. Kad pisem na engleskom ja mislim na englesom, jednako kao I na hrvatskom pa tako moji clanci nece biti direktan prijevod sa jednog jezika na drugi, ali ce sadrzaj clanaka uvijek biti konzistentan. Nisam sigurna kako cu tu dvojezicnost ostvariti sa poezijom pa cu u slucaju poezije nastaviti pisati na engleskom.
Pred nesto vise od mjesec dana ukljucila sam se na jednu trazilicu za upoznavanje. Nadam se da je to ovoljno dobar prijevod od “dating site”. Moj cilj je upoznavanje novih ljudi iako postoji I skroz malena nada da bi jednog dana mogla upoznati I nekoga za koga bih mogla osjetiti I nesto vise od prijateljstva. Ukoliko ostvarim makar I jedno prijateljstvo sa nekim koga sam upoznala putem ove trazilice smatrat cu da su moji napori bili vrijedni truda. Iznenadilo me sto je jedan muskarac, Englez, kojeg sam tim putem upoznala procitao citav moj blog I to u samo jednu noc. To mi je jako veliki kompliment, prvenstveno kao piscu I jako sam mu zahvalna na interesu I strpljenju. Tog sam muskarca cak I osobno upoznala, ali tom smo prilikom oboje zakljucili da smo razliciti ljudi koji imaju vrlo malo zajednickog I sa tim je susretom nase druzenje zavrsilo. Nastavljam traziti.
Kristina
Nedelja, 29. Studeni 2020
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