I grew up in a socialist country with my communist and atheist parents, and when I was a child Christmas was not celebrated in my family. Nevertheless, we had all the Christmas traditions that we moved to the date of December 31st, and we celebrated the New Year in the Christmas way. At school, on the last day of the year, we always had a celebration where we danced, acted, recited and played. As a member of the tamburitza orchestra, I have always performed at these shows. In front of the stage, there would be a large pile of gifts in Santa’s colourful bags that Santa handed out to each child at the end of the celebration. Everyone would get chocolate, biscuits, candies and a few oranges. I still remember my excitement when I approached Santa to pick up my bag, especially at a young age. At home we had a real Christmas tree, a pine tree that we decorated on New Year's Eve. Santa was coming through the chimney that night to leave us presents while we slept. We sent greeting cards called New Year's greetings by regular mail and received many, maybe some thirty. We put the greeting cards on display next to the Christmas tree. My mother baked cakes and cooked, and those memories are one of the most beautiful from my childhood.
In the family of my ex-husband we celebrated Christmas and at that time I slowly began to change my Christmas habits. Along with my deeply religious late father-in-law, I baked cakes on Christmas Eve and even went with him to mass at midnight without my ex-husband.
When I came to England, I began to experience Christmas as a cultural celebration rather than a religious one. I loved the wonderful Christmas songs and enjoyed the Christmas plays at school when Sara was a child. In our family, we always decorated a live pine tree and put numerous gifts for Sara under it. One-year Sara was supposed to be a sheep at a Christmas play in kindergarten. She was terribly unhappy because she didn't want to be a sheep and she really didn't want to go to kindergarten on the day of the celebration. By some miracle she woke up that morning sick and did not have to go to her great joy. I think she was 4 at the time. The following year at the age of 5, she was chosen to play Mary and she was very happy and proud of it.
Last night, Christmas Eve 2020, Sara and I spent alone, and we had a wonderful time even though we missed my brother and his children. However, we cooked the way it is done in Croatia, fish for Christmas Eve. The day before we baked cakes. That morning Sara wrapped presents for her dad, his new family as well as our friends. After dinner we watched the romantic Christmas movie "The holiday" and after that we enjoyed Christmas songs. As I write this, I am waiting for Sara to wake up to unwrap together the gifts we have prepared for each other.
I am using this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas! I hope you and your families stay safe.
Love
Kristina
P.S. Dear Anna if you read my blog please get in touch. I miss you.
Sretan Vam Bozic dragi prijatelji
Odrastala sam u socijalistickoj zemlji uz roditelje komuniste I ateiste I u mojoj se obitelji nije slavio Bozic. Usprkos tome imali smo sva obiljezja Bozica koja smo pomaknuli u datumu na 31. prosinca I na Bozicni nacin slavili smo Novu Godinu. U skoli smo na zadnji dan u godini imali uvijek proslavu na kojoj smo plesali, glumili, recitirali I svirali. Kao clan tamburaskog orchestra uvijek sam nastupala na tim priredbama. Ispred pozornice bila bi velika hrpa darova u sarenim vrecicama koju je Djed Mraz podijelio svakom djetetu na kraju proslave. Svatko bi drobio cokoladu, kekse, bombone I nekoliko narandzi. Jos se sjecam svog ushicenja kad sam prilazila Djedu Mrazu da uzmem svoju vrecicu, posebno u ranijoj dobi. U obitelji smo imali parvo Bozicno drvce, bor koji smo kitili na Staru Godinu. Djed Mraz je dolazio kroz dimnjak tu noc da nam ostavi poklone dok smo spavali. Slali smo cestitke koje su se zvale Novododisnje cestitke obicnom postom I dobivali mnoge, mozda nekih tridesetak. Cestitke smo stavljali izlozene uz Bozicno drvce. Mama je pekla kolace I kuhala I ta su mi sjecanja jedna od najljepsih vezano uz djetinjstvo.
U obitelji mog bivseg supruga isto ateiste slavio se Bozic I tu sam polako pocela mijenjati svoje navike. Uz svog duboko religioznog pokojnog svekra pekla sam kolace na Badanjak I cak odlazila sa njim na na mise Polnocke.
Kod dolaska u Englesku uz svoje dijete pocela sam dozivljavati Bozic kao kulturolosku proslavu a ne religioznu. Zavoljela sam divne Bozicne pjesme I uzivala sam u Bozicnim proslavama u skoli dok je Sara bila dijete. U nasoj smo obitelji uvijek kitili zivi bor I stavljali pod njega brojne poklone za Saru. Jedne je godine Sara na bozicnoj proslavi u vrticu trebala biti ovca. Bila je strasno nesretna jer nije zeljela biti ovca I jako nije htjela ici u vrtic na dan proslave. Nekim cudom to jutro se probudila bolesna I nije trebala ici na njezinu veliku radost. Mislim da je tad imala 4 godine. Slijedece godine u dobi od 5 je bila izabrana da igra Mariju I bila jako sretna I ponosna na to.
Proslu noc, Badnjak, provele smo Sara I ja same I bilo nam je divno premda su nam nedostajali moj brat I njegova djeca. Ipak kuhale smo onako kako se to radi u Hrvatskoj, ribu za vecerun na Badnjak. Dan ranije ispekle smo kolace. To je jutro Sara zamotala poklone za svog tatu, njegovu novu obitelj kao I za nase prijatelje. Nakon vecere gledale smo romanticni Bozicni film “The holiday” I poslije toga uzivale uz Bozicne pjesme. Dok ovo pisem cekam da se Sara probudi da zajedno odmotamo poklone koje smo pripremile jedna za drugu.
Kristina
Petak, 25. Prosinca 2020.
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