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  • Writer's pictureKristina Lang

How important is age?

In the questionnaire on dating sites, you need to enter some parameters that specify your expectations. So, for example, saying that I am a woman looking for a man, because it could be that I am looking for a woman. In addition to gender, it is important to enter not only your own age but also the age of the man you are looking for. At the age of 53, I entered that I wanted a man between the ages of 45 and 55. This, of course, is not written in stone and does not mean that I would not pay attention to a man of 43 or one of 60. It somehow seems to me that men my age often look older than they should be, so I prefer to pay attention to slightly younger men. I am aware of how superficial this sounds but this is stronger than me. By no means do I want to say that I want a much younger man, I would prefer him to be my age or a few years younger.


I get messages from men of all ages, sometimes they deviate from my default age parameters quite a lot. I was once approached by a very handsome man who was written to be 50 years old. In the picture, he was wearing a shirt unbuttoned to the waist, under which his abs could be seen. I wrote him, “You look really great, not just for 50, but for any age. You have to work out a lot.” He replied, "I'm actually 26 years old." This was so funny to me that I shared my laughter with him, and I further explained “I know with some people the search engine messes up the year, but I didn’t expect it to be so drastic” He didn’t answer anymore. When I showed the picture to my daughter, she said, "Mom, how did you not see that he was so young?" Somehow, I didn’t, obviously I had a very superficial approach.


Older men also write me. I recently received a letter from a 65-year-old man. He wrote me a very touching message but, I couldn't reply to it without hurting him, so I just deleted it. He wrote me that men in their 40s were not for me, implying that he was. He added that he is in great shape and that he has all but two of his teeth.

One man my age whom I initially liked texted me exclusively during business hours, Monday through Friday 9-5. He lives with his so-called "ex" girlfriend and he can't communicate with other women in front of this "ex". When I stopped messaging, he blocked me and then after a week he changed his mind and asked for a date. Of course, I didn’t answer him because I concluded that he didn’t even deserve my comment.

And so, with the thought that age doesn’t matter I continue my search for a man who might interest me. But for now, something is always wrong, from age onwards. In fact, I wonder how infinite the combinations are where I immediately say No without much thought.


Kristina

Saturday, December 19th, 2020


Koliko su godine vazne?


U upitniku na trazilici za upoznavanje potrbno je unijeti neke parametere koje specificiraju tvoja ocekivanja. Tako je potrebno reci npr da sam ja zena koja trazi muskarca, jer moglo bi biti I da trazim zenu. Osim spola bitno je unijeti ne samo vlastitu dob nego I dob u kojem bi bilo pozeljno da je muskarac kojeg trazis. Ja sam sa svojih 53 godine unijela da zelim muskarca u dobi od 45 do 55 godina. To naravno nije upisano u kamen I ne znaci da nebih obratila paznju na muskarca od 43 ili onog od 60. Meni se nekako cini da su muskarci mojih godina cesto izgledom stariji nego sto bi trebalo biti pa zato obracam radije paznju na nesto mladje muskarce. Svjesna sam koliko to povrsno zvuci ali to je jace od mene. Nikako ne zelim reci da si zelim puno mladjeg muskarca, nekako bih najradije da je mojih godina ili koju godinu mladji.

Dobivam poruke od muskaraca svih dobi, ponekad prilicno po dobi odstupaju od mojih zadanih parametara. Jednom mi se obratio jedan jako zgodan muskarac za kojeg je pisalo da ima 50 godina. Na slici je bio u do struka raskopcanoj kosulji ispod kojie su se nazirali isklesani misici. Napisala sam mu “Ti zaista sjano izgledas, ne samo za 50 godina, nego za bilo koje godine. Mora da puno vjezbas”. On mi je odgovorio “Ja zapravo imam 26 godina”. Meni je to bilo toliko smijesno da sam svoj smijeh podijelila sa njim I jos sam pojasnila “Znam da nekim ljudima trazilica zbrcka godine, ali nisam ocekivala da bi moglo biti toliko drasticno” Nije se vise javio. Kad sam pokazala sliku mojoj kceri rekla je “Mama kako nisi vidjela da je toliko mlad?”. Nekako nisam, ocito sam imala vrlo povrsan pristup.

Javljaju mi se I stariji muskarci. Nedavno sam dobila pismo od jednog muskarca od 65 godina. Napisao mi je vrlo dirljivu poruku na koju nisam mogla odgovoriti a da ga ne povrijedim, pa sam ju samo obrisala. Napisao mi je da muskarci od 40 nisu za mene I implicirao da on jeste. Jos je dodao da je u sjajnoj formi I da ima sve svoje zube, osim dva.

Jedan muskarac moje dobi koji mi se izgledom dopao slao mi je poruke samo u radno vrijeme, od ponedeljka do petka. Zivi sa ocito “bivsom” djevojkom I nemoze pred svojom “bivsom” komunicirati sa drugim zenama. Kad sam se prestala javljati blokirao me I onda nakon tjedan dana promijenio misljenje I trazio spoj. Naravno, nisam mu nista odgovorila jer sam zakljucila da ne zasluzuje cak niti moj komentar.

I tako sa mislju da godine nisu vazne nastavljam svoje potrazivanje muskarca koji bi me mogao zainteresirati. No za sada uvijek nesto ne stima, pocevsi od godina pa nadalje. Zapravo cudim se koliko je beskrajno velik broj kombinacija za koje cu spremno I bez puno razmisljanja odmah reci Ne.


Kristina

Subota, 19. Prosinca 2020.

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